PERMEABLE POWER
If you are fortunate enough, as I have been, to spend a professional lifetime in the company of brilliance, you begin to notice things. My particular vantage point, perched somewhere between psychological inquiry and the clamour of the modern workplace, has granted me a season ticket to witness the astonishing abilities of talented women. I have sat in the quiet, considered spaces where women lead, from the glittering C-suites of global behemoths to the gloriously chaotic engine rooms of tech start-ups; from the hallowed, sometimes haunted, halls of medicine and academia to the vibrant, world-changing studios of art and activism. And in the midst of this dazzling human symphony, across countless hours of shared reflection and candid conversation, a single, quiet melody has made itself heard time and again. It is a subtle but persistent theme, a yearning for a leadership that feels less like a performance and more like a breath of fresh air.
This book, Permeable Power: Leadership That Breathes, is my attempt to write down the music I have heard. It is born from observing the most extraordinary paradox: women of immense capability, vision, and granite-like resilience who nonetheless confess to a feeling of profound, constricting pressure. They feel, in a thousand different ways, as though they are holding their breath, navigating professional worlds that were not, if we are being terribly honest, built with their thriving as the chief architectural concern. The experience can leave even the most decorated and admired industry leader feeling quietly exhausted, perpetually braced for an impact that never quite comes but is always anticipated.
The old maps to the treasure island of leadership were often drawn by cartographers who envisioned a very specific kind of hero. Their model of strength was, more often than not, a fortress: impenetrable, unassailable, a magnificent stone edifice that betrayed no hint of the messy, marvellous, and sometimes maddening humanity within. To lead was to be a statue, stoic and weatherproof. For women attempting to follow these well-trodden but ill-fitting paths, the journey becomes a fantastically complicated ballet of self-censorship. You are trapped in that most infuriating of theatrical farces, the double bind. If you project assertive strength and you risk the director’s note to tone it down, you’re being ‘abrasive’; lean into your natural empathy and collaborative spirit, and you’re suddenly deemed too ‘soft’ for the harsh lights of command. The relentless demand for a kind of frictionless perfection—the flawless strategist, the impeccable professional, the emotional shock-absorber for an entire organisation—forces the construction of a public self so carefully managed, so hermetically sealed, that it can become a prison of one’s own making.
I have witnessed firsthand the colossal expenditure of energy this requires. It is the psychic fuel burned in the engine of constant self-monitoring, of weighing every word for its potential misinterpretation, of managing the shifting perceptions of others like a meteorologist tracking a hurricane. It is the unseen emotional labour of absorbing a team’s anxieties while projecting a serene calm, of navigating the treacherous currents of office politics while being judged by an entirely different set of maritime laws. Men, of course, are not immune to the stresses of the high seas, but the particular texture of these gales often carries a uniquely gendered sting, a specific brand of atmospheric pressure that can lead to a slow, creeping sense of suffocation.
It is this very feeling, this sensation of being unable to draw a full, deep, satisfying breath in one’s own professional skin, that this book seeks to remedy. The idea at its heart is both radical and as natural as life itself: that true, sustainable, and frankly more interesting power is not found in the stony invulnerability of a fortress wall, but in the intelligent, dynamic, and exquisitely selective boundary of a living cell. Think of it as a membrane strong enough to maintain its essential integrity, yet wonderfully porous enough to allow for the vital exchange of nourishment, energy, and information with the world outside. It is a power that doesn’t just stand firm; it breathes, it adapts, it connects, it lives.
These biological analogies are more than mere poetic filigree; they are our functional blueprint. We will explore vulnerability not as a terrifying crack in the armour, but as the very oxygen that leadership requires to foster trust, innovation, and genuine human connection. We will come to understand confidence not as a brittle, arrogant shell, but as the magnificent cellular integrity that allows us to be open to influence without losing our fundamental shape. And we will reimagine courage not as the absence of fear, but as the active, powerful respiratory system that enables us to engage with the world, to take in its challenges and opportunities, and to exhale our own authentic contribution.
The journey I hope to guide you on is one of reclamation. We will begin by exploring what I call the Oxygen of Vulnerability, learning how to intentionally and wisely unseal the airtight container of outdated expectations. From there, we will move to building the Cellular Integrity of Confidence, discovering how to fortify our inner core with self-compassion and discerning wisdom. Finally, with these foundations in place, we will activate the Respiratory System of Courage, translating this newfound inner freedom into powerful, practical action in the world, fostering a leadership that regenerates rather than depletes.
The wisdom contained herein is a blend concocted from many fine ingredients: the rigorous findings of psychology and neuroscience, the deep wells of contemplative tradition, and most crucially, the lived, breathed, and bravely shared experiences of the women who have been my teachers. Their stories of struggle and triumph are the very soul of this work. My deepest wish is that this book becomes a trusted friend on your own magnificent expedition. It is a heartfelt invitation to step out of the exhausting costume of invulnerability and into a way of leading that is more authentic, more sustainable, and infinitely more alive. The world has enough statues. It is time, I think, for a leadership that finally, joyfully, remembers how to breathe.